Multiple Sclerosis

Botanical Garden Munich

Gifts of Life
Looks that do not disrespect, but respect.
Thoughts that do not judge, but bless.
Words that do not judge, but erect.
Acts, that do not harm, but encourage.
But as I know, that I already have received these gifts
as the bounty of nature of my life,
I may ask for:
Mindfulness, so that I will not loose them ever again.
- Helga F. Noack - Natur & Heilen 1/2004

Following a little article out of a health insurance brochure of April 2004. I think it is interesting, that even science finds out about these things. One of my ideas is, that healing can happen by "softening", by opening the heart. It is possible to decide to feel good, to let go of pain, to let gow of anger - one only harms oneself and not the other person. I think, that anger and hate eat themselves into the myelin sheath, change the immune system. One kind of meditation could be to wrap the certain person into light (maybe pink or white). Or one could (with the inner eye) look at the person and wait what comes up. If one does not want to let go of the grudge or does not know how to do that or why, one could ask oneself, why one hangs on to it. What´s the advantage of hanging on to it? Maybe it brings more action in life as there would be or there´s always stuff to talk about, which can also be funny. Mostly it is possible to find advantages of certain situations, certain states. One can ask oneselve if the advantage or the disadvantage is more and then see the situation with humor and if not, out of better knowledge, stop with that behaviour. There will always be chances to practise these things. When I was feeling very bad during a stay in a clinic, someone called me. I told her that I was just thinking about my situation and if it just was my fate to suffer of the MS now. She answered "Oh well, somehow everybody chooses his own suffering." This sentence really gave me stuff to think. In that situation back then I decided to leave the room and to sit on a bench out in the sun. Maybe it really is a decision to suffer and for sure there will always in life be a reason to do so. I think, that in most situations one has a choice - and maybe just the one, if the situation cannot be changed, to change my attitude towards it. Later on I found a buddhist saying: Pain cannot be avoided, suffering is voluntarily. Another one: I could be upset all day but I am not obliged to! (not buddhist...)

Who forgives, lives healthier

It is healthy not to be unforgiving/resentful. Forgiving lowers the blood pressure and helps with backache, depression, headache, sleeping problems and many more psychosomatic problems. This is reported by the Bonner consulting service "simplify your life". These things were found out by research of the Stanford University.

Enduring pain by being hurt, makes soul and body ill. To get out of that danger, it is not even necessary to personally reconsiliate with the person who´s done bad. The best way to receive this destination is, not to lose the facts between all the emotions: What has really happened? Is it worth the anger? Then it will be easier not to let the experience inside too much. It´s a good idea to talk to other people about it - not with friends but with neutral observers. That frees from the permanent situation of being hurt. The inner cramping loosens, when also doing good things to oneself - a relaxing bath, sports, a walk, a good meal, listening to music or cancelling a date.

Fraueninsel, Chiemsee, Island in the Bavarian Lake Chiemsee

Stress triggers MS for women (resource: Health Behavior News Service USA, in Psychosomatic Medicine, Nov./Dez.2002)

Systemic research by the Multiple Sclerosis Clinic at the University Pittsburgh Medical Center confirmed assumptions, that stressful situations may be the reason for MS attacks. For the experiment 23 woman with MS were chosen and watched over one year. Every week they had to fill out a questionnaire which asked for the MS-symptoms and the special situation during the week, like beginning a new job, loosing a job, finding out a child has been treated unfair in school, a car accident or anger about an insult.

Every for weeks the woman were asked about their life-situation - which kind it was, which point in time. Later on the data was compared to the MS-attacks. A researcher found out, that there so far were contrary results about the dimension of the psychological stress-situation and development and trigger of the illness. This study found out, at least for woman stressful life-situations are potential triggers for activity of illness with the relapse-remitting kind of MS. MS-attacks can be delayed or even be stopped, when the individual or comulative effects of stressful life-situations are decreased.

During the year of research, the woman had an avarage of 2,6 attacks a year. 85 % of the attacks were connected with at least one situation/event which would be a stressful life-situation and the attack appeared about 6 weeks later than that. The results showed, that stress of different cause, origin, and the different grades of the stressful situation were connected in their levels, their largeness with the kind of attack. The researchers concluded, that preventive acting, eg methods of lowering stress or how it is possible to realise symptoms for anger or depression early enough and how to handle it, can help that women can avoid stress-producing MS-appearances. The research was financially supported by the National Institute of Health.

Highly significant: Stress forwards MS-attacks, Forum Psychosomatik Nov. 2006

In a meta-analysis researches in the team of David C. Mohr, University of California, found out, that the likelihood of an MS-attack after psycho-social stress rises. This connection was found highly significant. The researchers sighted 14 studies from 1982 to 2003 in their analysis and published the results in 2004. It is to be stressed out, that neither the working mechanisms nor the effect of different kinds of stress is known and therefor more research should be done.
Us, the Stiftung Lebensnerv (who´s doing psychosomatic research on MS), are quite pleased with the results of this studies because they point out, without doubt, the connection between stress and MS-attacks. We hope that this will not remain without further sequals. For many MS-patients this connection is nothing new: Looking at the own story, many could see a connection between burdening situations at work or in the partnership or death of close persons or other difficult personal living conditions and MS-symptoms. Just many neurologists would not listen to these things: "That´s got nothing to do with it." often was the answer.

Now the connection is proved even for sceptics and that opens new perspectives for research and also for the MS-patients: Researchers can deal with the unanswered questions of the meta-analysis. And we, the MS-patients, can search for ourselves, because it is not the burdening incidence itself which triggers the MS, but it is our reaction to it. Therefor we can look which life-situations ended in an attack and which other difficult situations didn´t. Maybe we can learn to handle difficult situations in a different way and maybe we can prevent attacks.
My wish for neurologists would be, to listen to people with MS, to take them serious and to support them on their individual way. Maybe the MS-patients already feel, know the connection, that might be proved scientifically in many years to come.

October 2003 I got the brochure about MS of the anthroposophic people. Even if I do not understand that much about this kind of view, I can find quite a bit quite evident. Some of it I could find at myself, out of psychosomatics or from pracitising Qi Gong. I will translate bits of this text, as it is quite difficult...

„Multiple Sklerosis – Fate of one or fate of the times?“ by Volker Fintelmann

Nerval tissue of brain and spinal cord is the organic carrier of our perceptions. They do not just describe our concious world of emotions but also the mostly subconcious contingence of soul and body. We could also use the term of moods, which are mirrowed into our concious life as emotions, desires, passions, pleasures and dullness, tempers etc.

Opposite the official medical sight of MS being a primary inflammable illness, I think MS is primary sclerotic, a sclerotic illness. The obvious inflammations are secondary or reactive. The organism, which carries the (inner)healer all the time, tries to work against the constant hardening and degeneration of the nerval tissue by the polar process of inflammation. But the inner power of the inflammation ist not enough so that a constantly and in the end destroying smouldering exists instead of the necessary fire of an acute inflammation. I was able to watch such a process at a patient who´s MS was quite advanced with paralysed extremities. After a mistletoe-injection, which was too high by mistake, he developped a high, almost septic fever for 3 days. Of course that was not the intention, meant additionally pain for him and for us the remorse to having procuced such a situation by a mistake. But when the fever got down, the unexpected happened: he was able to move his arms and legs again - not completely and with a bit of power, but at least as much, that it was a help to him. Fever therefor is an important therapeutical element with MS. (In the Chinese Medicine, TCM, there is a thing called infection-rigor, basically saying the same thing. I realised that many MS-patients told me that they had not been ill for a long time and if then not too bad. It seems, that this is not a sign of health, as one would suspect, but a sign, that the immunesystem does not react.)

Sclerotic illness always implies coldness at the place where the illness starts. ... How comes such an affronting coldness can attack the nerval system?
The subconcious world of emotions is mirrowed in our conciousness is opposed by the intellect, which is called "cold" by the language-genius. As modern people we are living in this field of tension between cold intellect and warm feelings. Now there should not one called be good and one bad, it is rather a necessary togetherness. The positive polarity of "as well as" rather than "one or the other". This system needs harmony, which is individual for every man, to stay healthy and supporting.

In case of MS it get´s into disharmony, where the intellect (coldness) dominates the emotion (warmth). This can be seen in a deep disturbance of the organisation of the warmth symtomically. Almost every MS-patients has cold, often ice-cold hands or/and feet. This though is not experienced as too disturbing by the patients, which is especially dramatic really. ... Even on the skin cold areas can be felt, like around the kidneys or the spine. Many patients report that they feel cold easily, do not sweat much and have rarely high fever illnesses. Their emotions are rather "controlled", they cannot or don´t want to show their feelings even though they do have them and often even quite strongly. But they keep them inside. They are often clear thinkers with a sharp and critical mind, being able to analyse their environment. Their own sensibility is often very high, they can be arty-sensitive people who suffer of the dis-sensitivity, even brutality of their time, of their environment. On the other hand often subtle egoism can be seen, which in a friendly way "chucks" the helping-caring environment - being available at all times and accomplishing all wishes. This "psychosomatic" profile though is multi-layered and not homogeneous - different parts of it dominate with different people. But the result is always the same: Coldness is produced by the concious (intellect) opposing the subconcious emotion, inner life of the soul to the nerval system.

Please excuse my translation, it may not be perfect, but I hope understandable in parts anyway!

The causes for the illness can be very different. For sure there will be karma reasons. The cause can be just before birth - shocks and suffering, which colden the soul either the baby or the parents, mostly the mother. Also situations during the pregnancy can be important. And then in the early years of childhood there are so many influences which can disturb the healthy harmony. Example: not wanted emotionality ("a boy doesn´t cry"), lack of warmth (love) by the surrounding people, too early intellectual demands etc. It´s also possible that outer exessive demands disturb the organisation of warmth like constant undercooling, wrong clothing and food. ....

Preventation and possible therapy

... An important thought is essential: a human being cannot be healed against his will. True healing can be reached only, if the patient wants it. He must be an active partner in the healing process, in the therapy and not a person, with whom something is done. ...

View from the Fraueninsel in Chiemsee, March 2004

Chapter about MS from the book "Your body says: Love yourself" by Lise Bourbeau

Emotional blockade

People that fell ill with MS are trying to build up a hard protective layer against the outside. They are losing mobility and flexibility, which would allow them, to adapt to certain situations and persons. Others are getting on their nerves and the start to rebel against them inside. Once they have exceeded their own borders, they give up completely and do not know what to do at all anymore. It is said, that those people solidify and do not develop further anymore. They would like others to care for them but they make efforts not to let others see their dependance. They are perfectionist who demand quite a lot from themselves and they would like to please. The disability get´s them an excuse not to comply with the perfect life of their own unrealistic ideals. They can hardly accept that others, doing less then they do, own more.

Mental blockade:

The worse your illness, the more urgent is the message of your body. It´s trying to tell you, that you should live your natural gentleness instead of being so hard to yourself and to judge others. Admit your emotional dependancy before your illness makes you dependend physically. Let go! It is not necessary to ask so much from yourself. Look at your ideal personality and you will see, that you have made it too high for yourself and it´s higher than your boundaries. You do not need to proof anything to anybody. Try to let go of the fear, others might not like, accept, love you, as it hinders you, to be yourself. With an attitude like this, you can´t develop in a way that your heart might wish. It maybe possible that your same-sex parent has disappointed you so much that you are now trying hard not to become like your father or your mother. This also overcharges you. Accepting and forgiving (mostly yourself for judging your parents so hard) can have very positive effects on your healing-process.

The following progress-report I received by a lady who I have met in a seminar. Her MS was stopped by homeopathy.

In February 1987 I had the first symptoms - vision problems, allergy, strong pain and numb legs. In 1988 a doctor told me (like many other wrong diagnosis) my problems would be the result of a lack of oxygen at my birth. In fall 1988 I had massive attacks of suffocation and a neurologist told me, I would die within the next four weeks. My new GP told me about natural healing methods. In November 1988 I received a few homeopathic globules. A few months later I received two other globuli. Since then I had no more attacks. Of course I take care of a healthy nutrition and try to prevent stress. Meanwhile (2004) I´m in my mid-fifties and can live very well with the few MS-problems I have.

Following the progress-report of a patient from Bavaria, February 2004:

At the age of 14 I had the first MS-symptoms. Over years I lived with the illness unknown. Nobody knew what it could be. At 23 I had heavy vision problems. But also they disappeard a few weeks later and nothing was diagnosed, everything forgotten. After 2 miscarriages the symptoms returned each time, stronger than before. Suddenly I had problems with the balance and vision and was not able to walk well. After a while, MS was diagnosed. I broke down inside and outside. The symptoms got stronger during the next half year. I was able to walk hardly with two walking sticks and my eyesight I had lost also. Every year I had about 2-3 attacks, almost getting me into the wheelchair. 1997 with delight I got pregnant again. The doctors were worried though because of the MS. I wasn´t afraid though. My daughter was delivered healthy in 1998.

After the birth I had heavy attacks again. Shortly after the diagnosis I had bought books about self-healing which for strange reasons I did never read though back then. A heavy life-crisis forced me into the wheelchaig. Again I had to accept my break-down. For half a year I took the drug Rebif. But my state of health got worse and worse anyway. Then I took Mitoxantron. Again my state got worse. I prayed and prayed to find a new way for myself. Suddenly I thought about that books. I had the thought, if there exist books about self-healing, there must be something to that thought. I read them all. I started to meditate and thought of meditation rituals. After practising for a while I felt my body changing. The symptoms which had been there for so long, started to get lighter. A friend recommended a homeopath to me with whom I am still happy. By the meditation I tried to visualise the ill cells and metabolism to make a turn into a healthy state. I had many life-crises in my life and defeats, but nevertheless I have found my way after a long time of masturation. I can walk without a stick and can do long walks again. Wishes and goals are important to me anymore and they do hastle me on. If someone does not have them anymore, the illness has a higher chance.

Kiki´s story

The illness started in spring 1994 when I was 23 years old. With one attack per year I was able to block out the whole thing quite well. Later on though I had attacks every 6 weeks. I went into therapy, left my husband and stopped working as a nurse: a complete change which took quite a lot of courage for me but also felt good because I started to take care of my life myself and stopped doing things that were no good for me.

I started to study, had more attacks. I was still unhappy because I was unable to get in touch with other people. Even with my husband before I couldn´t. I suffered from the feeling of being completely isolated. I went to the therapy-center of Dr. Dahlke and learnt much about my sickening patterns of behaviour: hardness against myself, depreciation and under-development of my female pole. That meant for me to get out of my top-heavyness and get more into my body by doing sports, having massages, touching therapy of my body. Also the constructive handling with aggressions was a topic. Since then I do fighting-sport, own a punching-ball and learn to fight for myself. At first all this happened with me fighting against it, me defending, now more and more with me not prooving anything to myself or others, now "Here I am". I worked on my dependancy on others because an old pattern of my childhood is "I may not vouch for myself, I must be perfect for mommy and daddy, otherwise I cannot survive."

The feeling of isolation though remained. I went into other therapy groups, hoping, I would experience more closeness to other people there. Concerning relations to others I know only two feelings: isolation or dependence. As I can´t stand either for too long I run back and forth all the time - into the contact and out of it. There is not really a place in the world yet where I can feel relaxed which means for me, it´s not sure yet, if I can be alive and living. After years of group therapies and further attacks I found out how my system keeps me off closeness: By being "in the head". That means when I´m in contact, I talk much too much and much too fast, I do too much and too fast, I look around all the time, don´t like eyecontact. All this means for me that I do not feel my body too much, that I am not in contact with myself and that I do lose the ground underneath my feet.

Most important though, as I found out: I cannot trust anybody. All "negative" emotiongs like insecurity, fear, sadness, having no ground underneath the feet, I devaluate and I do not want to show them, I feel ashamed for them. I do not really believe that I am worthy like I am and avoid to get in contact when feeling like this. I do not believe and trust, that I am worthy and lovable in that state. Therefor it is very difficult for me to build up real connections to other people because then I would have to have the courage to show myself just like I am - with my weakness - and to able the other people to see and love me like that. To get in contact when being "down", to build up trust, that other´s think I´m okay anyway. Then I would not be alone anymore - and healthy. Only then the MS will not be forced to open me, to admit the weakness. I do not have any symptoms anymore and not physical limitations but the work keeps going on!

Whole-hearted, Kiki

Sigrid´s story

My way

In 2001 I got the diagnosis MS. It was a deep cut in my life, but I realised that only years later. At first I was busy finding out what this strange illness meant. Ivonne´s homepage was of great help for me. It encouraged me and helped me to "stand on my own legs". First thing was the complete change of my nutrition: low-fat and linolic-acid-low. Also I went into Hatha-Yoga. Although being scared a lot about flying I decided to fly for the first time in my life. I went to crete, doing a dancing-seminar. I was convinced it would be the last trip in my life. Back then I did not even anticipate that it would be the begin of a new life!

The greek dances, especially the rhythms and melodies were balm on my soul. The body could not and would not like I wanted it too, so that I danced and watched alternating. Even watching fascinated me. Back home, I reduced my working-hours as a teacher. As I had attacks again, I realised that this would not be enough though. So I went into an anthroposophic clinic for a cure-stay. A second stay there a year later, changed my life completely in the end! I learnt circle-dances and the dancing-meditation of Berhard Wosien. Instinctively I felt, how the musik, the rythms and the meditation touched me.

Half a year later I stopped working completely as I did not want to put my deficiencies on the shoulders of the collegues. Then I started intensive occupation with the dancing meditation. This is a kind of dancing, where people are connected in a circle and are dancing steps and gestures according to ancient and old patterns or new choreographies. Bernhard Wosien, a dancer and choreograph, developped it in Findhorn/Scotland. It is a moved start into meditation.

The more I practised the meditation and dance myself, the more my symptoms vanished. It was one way of healing, my way of healing! I felt the wish to pass on my experiences and therefor I founded a group which meets once a month in my local church. Now I offer dancing meditaiton to different groups, institutions and organisations who want to step onto new pathes of therapy. I cannot work in my old profession, but the new one fills me with a lot of contentment. I see, that it is possible to encourage other people who are confronted with the same or another diagnosis with my experiences.

Sigrid Lemke, Mülheim an der Ruhr, April 2006

Dancing with MS

Book by Eva Marsh, translated by Dr. Trapp - therefor you better buy the book in English!

Eva Marsh received the diagnosis MS in the year 1967, if I understood right. It seems that back then the prognosis of the MS always was the same - fatal, myelin cannot be build new. Eva found out by researching literature and by her own experience, that this wasn´t right like that. In her book she tells her MS-story, her family-situation and her studies, which she started later on. The book finishes in 2004. I found it quite interesting, that obviously science already back then had the same thesis about MS like these days (eg knew as little as they do today) and that already back then they said that very soon a working drug will come out. In the following I will write only a few things from the book and recommend to buy it. The first sentence actually is at the end of the book and I think it´s very good!

The body wants to heal itself, the brain has gotten the plan, the will has gotten the way.

... My goodness, they don´t know anything for sure themselves! Virus, auto-immune, metabolism-problems, unkown enzyms; all hypothesis about the reason for MS. If everything is such a guessing game, why can anybody be so sure, that my life is finished? ...

(doctor visit) Do not change your plans. I habe watched over 400 MS-cases in my carrier and not two of them take the same course. ... Nobody can really tell, which prognosis you have. I believe, that the progress strongly depends on the personality, because those patients, who keep up their good mood and stay busy, do have better progresses than others. But do not overstrain yourself. Sleep as much as necessary and in general take care of your health.

... And then I think about my weekness and my arrogance. I dot not have control over anything. It is time to stop fightin, what IS. It is time for me to admit, that I will have to surrender myself to what is bigger than anything else.

... Those researchers support my intuitive believe, that I can do something to change the progress of the "inevitable". When there is such a variety in the progress of this illness, then the personality as an important factor for the ending of the illness, cannot be disregarded. I have decided to rely on my personality.

... Pierre Marie Charcot was the first one who in 1868 made a list of all symptoms of diffuse desseminating sclerosis. 1895 he reported, that a permantent remission and even health and the possibility that the ilness could be stopped in every stage was given. Later on B. Bramwell observed that the illness had come to a complete stop in the long run in a few cases. McAlpine who studies MS for his entire professional life, wrote in 1961, that many benign cases would have plenty attacks in the beginning. ... In 1974 Ivan Draper, neurologist lecturerer, published that new lesions in generel would appear in the first 7 or 8 years of the illness. Afterwards the deterioration is more uniform and the outcome of recuced physical activity. My own story fits into the observation of Mackay and Hirano - MS comes to a stop relatively soon after different vehemency in the beginning, without serious problems and without returning. ... (Here I remember, that a neurologist once told me, that MS could "burn out", which accords to the above observations.)

1991, after 17 years of being free of symptoms, Eva obviously had an attack. She writes: The conditions fit. Physically I was completely exhausted, by a simple infection devastated, which has been diagnosed incorrectly and been treated incorrectly for a year. The father of my girls once again came to influence which produced an emotional crises which used up all my reserves.

"Sleep restores in a not yet understood way, normal sensitivity as well as normal balance between the different parts of the nerval system". I start reading again in the physiology book of Guyton. I was always convinced, that sleep is extremely important, to advance healing. When asleep, all resources of the body, can go inside, with minimal distraction of energy, to watch basic functions as breathing and body temperature.

Eva also always did body exercises. She found out, that myelin resp. a very similiar matter, builds up again after 19 days. So after 19 days and because of her physical state, she knew, that an "attack was over". There´s a chapter about the victim-role in the book. Being the victim always weakens and make helpless, because one is only the victim of someone or something.

No study about fatigue regarded, that the body begs for sleep, not for yet another drug. Babies sleep most of the time during the first year, while their nerval system is producing and building up myelin. Why should not us people with MS need sleep, when our bodies are working so hard, to repair the myelin again? (One of my thoughts during an attack was, how could my body heal, if I do not get rest and quietness? The cortisone made my hyperactive. It was clear to me, that I would have to calm down and come to rest, to make my body heal. This is the same, what Eva found out. I think fatigue is a sign of the body, that it needs rest. If you do not give it voluntarily, the body, the symptom will force it. Once I was asked which Qi Gong exercise can be done when being tired and my answer was - none, if I´m tired, I´m tired, so what and I take a rest.) Later on Eva also remarks the book Quantum Healing by Deepak Chopra.

Leopold´s story

2002 I was the host of an alpine hut in Lower Austria. In the middle of November I was taken to hospital with the suspicion of apoplexy. I could not move one leg. In my mind I was already at Christkindlmarket (christmas market) but I thought to myself, go to hospital for a few days to relax. Wrong thought - two weeks later, I couldn´t move out of my bed at all anymore and needed to be fed by a nasal tube. All I could move was my right hand. After checking the spinal cord, MS was diagnosted but at that moment not all doctors agreed. This state (nasal tube, artificial respiration, intensive care etc.) lasted for 3 weeks. The worst for me was not even being unable to move but being unable to eat. On Christmas Day the nurse secretely fed me a pudding. Secretely because my speech therapist with whom I practised daily, had not given approval yet and she was ill that day... With the physiotherapist I tried walking every day with the glider cane and also ergotherapy every day for the left hand. Cortison proved too weak, so I received blood exchange transfusions and Endoxan. After the secret pudding action, I only had superficial nutrion for a few more days and then was fed mashy.

I already had give up on the christmas market but the alpine hut in summer was coming ahead. As I had never been ill so heavily I thought to myself, even though I acutally just vegetating those days, oh well, the doctors will get me fixed my April and then I will open my hut. Naive! I exercised as good as possible. My therapist were great. I practised on the treadmill, which was horrible for me, because I had to be buckled up - just like bungee jumping. Two therapist would move my legs. I did like the Motomed better and did many miles voluntarily.

I did even do water therapy in January 2003. Everything seemed to work well. Meanwhile I was able to replace the glider cane by a stick. The hospital stay lasted for 2 months now. At the beginning of February I suddenly wasn´t able to move the right hand anymore either and so I thought, that was it. I was informed about the MS. I told the alpine association they would have to look for a new host for the hut.

The worst for me though was, to be dependend of so many people - to need so much help and to be clear in the mind. I had never been to hospital before. One´s completely dependend on the nurses. They need to wash and diaper you or to put you on the toilet-seat. Of course there also were days when I was seated outside. After five minutes everything was hurting, but I had to keep sitting there for an hour because I "needed to be mobilised". I rang for the nurse a few times, but nobody showed up. But then my mother came and kicked up a fuss. She brought me back to bed which was just a handbreadth away. A special experience was the marathon walk to the toilet after being in bed for 6-7 weeks.

Of course I also was dependend in privacy. The accounting needed to be made, financial stuff kept going, animals needed to be cared for eg. This was also a reason to give up the hut - I didn´t want things like that anymore.

After the second attack with the right hand, the doctors finally agreed on the diagnosis MS. Until the middle of February I remained in hospital, which was three months all together, and until the middle of March I stayed in a rehabilitation clinic. Finally after much considering chemotherapy was done. Every day I practised using staircases by myself. I went up the stairs and took the elevator down, because that was still too dangerous. When I left the hospital I left my walking sticks behind and went to the rehabilitation clinic.

Okay, the rehabilitation I did not like that much because the therapists at the hospital took more effort. At the end of March I was back in my flat and able to move for an hour every day resp. do things. A wonder! But of course that wasn´t enough to live independently. Sometimes I had to take detours and I tried for example to use the moving stair. It did not work downwards though and once I had even to sit down because I had the feeling I´d be falling downstairs. So I took the elevator and tried again a month later.

I received lots of help by the family. I slowly tried to drive my car and finally in August I even took of with friends to do walkways in the Dolomites. It went quite well. I just realised that something was still wrong with the sense of balance. Winter 2003 I did hippotherapy and I also took Novatron every three months until the beginning of 2004. Then I met my wife to be at a New Years Eve party. The motoric function of my fingers I had trained in hospital already by using the computer. So I was surfing in the internet a lot and found faxi.at (bicylcle taxi). I found out that it was only 5 Euro a day to rent it and joined them. That was great for me because motion is very good and because I had been working in gastronomy for 20 years I liked to be in touch with people. And also it was a bit of money.

In January 2005 my wife and me were expecting a child. Of course I was worried because I have had the chemotherapies until the beginning of 2004. On September 24 2005 it turned out, our Denisa was healthy!

March the 1st 2006 we got married and went to Switzerland for honeymoon. Everyday I was skiing and there´s no difference now between me and healthy people. At the moment I have no more problems with the MS and I do not take any drugs since the beginning of 2004 anymore. I still drive around with the bicycle-taxi in Vienna. Something I want to say: it is important to have a positive attitude and I also read quite a bit about how to activate the self-healing.

I greet everybody who´s reading my progress report, Leo.
Vienna July 2006

The story of Karl-Heinz

I have met Karl-Heinz (born in 1942) over 10 years ago at Lake Constance and I still meet him there now and then when I go there to the cure-clinic. Since years I asked him to write his story for my homepage, but somehow it never worked out. When I met him again in 2006, I sat down with him, let him talk (actually telling his story to Martin, who´s story is following further down) and wrote it down. And now finally, in May 2007, I sit down at home to write this story for my homepage. I realise there are some things written a bit confusing and some things I cannot read too well anymore (I wrote it in shorthand.)...

I was an engine-man and later on became a teacher for secondary school. During the second year of study I got married to a teacher in 1968. November 1972 I received the diagnosis MS. My daughter was born in 1969, my son in 1971. The first symptoms of the MS were problems with the sensibility, eyesight and stumbling. At work I had quite a bit of stress. At that time I was teacher and educator in a special needs school with 28 pupils in one class, of which only 2 were Germans, which made it even more difficult. The MS-symptoms appeard during resting phases. In the university clinic Tübingen I had a lumbar puncture which was repeated in January 1973 in Freiburg to back up the diagnosis. In February I went to see a "healing-practisioner" (I do not know the proper English word for it, in German its Heilpraktiker, people that use alternative methods.) and other people advised me to clean up my organism to get healthy again. My life before was quite dissolute. Because of working physically I had eaten lots of meat and sausage. In summer 1973 a friend brought me to an alpine hut in South Tyrol, called Seiser Alm. I used to go there climbing with my friend. The symptoms meanwhile had gotten worse. I could not walk freely anymore, one leg was dragging. For the alpine hut I had only taken a few pieces of clothing and a canister to get water from the nearby spring. Looking back I had to say that getting married was a mistake because my wife really was married to her mother, which had born her in her mid40ies. We were living with my mother in law in one house, even after our children were born. The situation at home was unbearable.

I told my friend, who´d brought me to the hut, that we would meet again in 5 1/2 weeks. I was sure by then I´d be able to walk down the mountain again. My friend quit our friendship because he thought I was acting irresponsibly. At first I emptied my intestine with Glauber salt. After two days I could not get up anymore because I was so weak. Step by step I carried the canister to the spring and brought back the water. All those weeks I only slept and did physical exercise. At times I couldn´t lift my arms anymore. Every day I gripped the bars in the wall, two more each time. From the 4th day on I fixed my daily walking distance newly. At the beginning I drank 4-5 litres of water, later on less. Over the whole time I had lost about 30 kg. At home I ate grains for three months. I received my information from magazines and the healing-practisioner. I did not eat meat at all anymore because grain includes everything we need. I soaked it over night and ate one glass every morning and every midday coldly. I meditated intensly and did not eat in the evening. The upcoming 7 years I lived vegan. I used different grains but spelt was my favorite. However - I was able to walk down the mountain after the time I had said I would.

In spring after the fasting, I stopped working at school. The same year I got divorced. Before quitting the job I had already found a new job including a flat to move there with my wife. But my wife did not want to leave her mother. Stress at work though kept going on for another seven years with different jobs. But I stayed healthy. I also took care about physical movement, reminding the times when it didn´t work. One of the sentences I kept in mind: There´s not uncureable diseases but only uncureable people. It is possible to take the MS off like a coat. Until today I take care of my nutrition. Everyday I eat rootvegetable because it is good for our nerval system. Rudolf Steiner found out about these things. I know another MS-patient who did not have any attacks for 10 years now with this "method". Green food is good for the rhythmic system, the breathing and the circulation. Grains are good for metabolism and muscles. I do not eat sugar or things with sugar in them at all.

Point of inflection: Fasting

Interview by Clinic Buchinger in May 2007
Martin Backhauß was able to get a grip to his heavy MS illness when staying in the Buchinger Clinic.

Being 24 only, Martin Backhauß got the diagnosis MS. Heavy attacks were wearing him down over years. When he had tried every orthodox medicine, he decided to take a last chance by alternative methods.

The seven week stay at Clinic Buchinger brought the crucial rebound. Since fasting here, he has been free of heavy MS-attacks and has gained a complete new awareness of life. In the following interview Martin Backhauß tells openly about the story of his illness and his return to health.

Buchinger: When did you feel for the first time that you were seriously ill?

Martin Backhauß: That was in 1999. I can remember well that day, when the symptoms turned up for the first time. With friends I was at a concert in Cologne. In that time I was living in Düsseldorf. Before the concert we met for eating and drinking. I was 23 years old then, living the life of a "normal" young man. That meant also - alcohol, parties and long nights.
On that evening back then I intended to stay in Cologne for the night and drive back to Düsseldorf the next day. During the concert I suddenly felt very dizzy. My field of vision was turning around and got worse when moving the head like getting up or walking. I was walking around like a drunk, but I was sober. My friends made jokes and told me to go home. Driving home it got worse. Double-vision and dizziness. I had to stop and throw up. At home it kept going on like that. I fell into my bed and with every motion of my head it was like going on a rollercoaster - the worse one which can be imagined. I got frightened and called the emergency. They came, checked me up and suspected food poisoning.
The symptoms vanished after a few days and I kept on living like before. Then, in the evening being in a retirement home, where I was doing a little job at the reception desk, I was not able to spell out my name on the phone anymore. I was like completely blocked and my speach was blurred. I was talking like a drunk. Then I realised that something was wrong with me.

Buchinger: How did it go on after that?

I had lots of doctor visits. The suspicion was lyme disease or MS. I did not know what MS was. Lyme disease I knew from children that I had taken to holiday camps when they got bitten by ticks and therefor seemed logical to me. I got to hospital I was checked up completely. Lumbar puncture was done as well as MRI of head and spine. The diagnosis in the end was MS. It did not say or mean anything to me. The reaction of my parents though made it clear to me, that MS is a horrible disease. After finding out more and more about it, I finally lost the ground underneath my feet.

Buchinger: What was the treatment after the diagnosis?

Years of anxiety followed. I did not know how I could keep on living and how I should and would change my life. I kept on like before and blocked the illness out. At once I started interferon-therapy. After the injection flu-like symptoms appeared. Strong chills and headaches which I had other drugs for. Nevertheless I would still have more MS-attacks. For each attack I had 1000mg cortisone three times as infusion or tablet. The cortisone made me aggressive. I was like under current which made me able to work nights also, it was a constant push of energy. I was working in the media business.
The symptoms made by the cortisone were stomach problems with cramps, headaches and so on. I lost hair and my face was bloated, my eyes glassy. The mucous membrane of the oral cavity came off, the whole mouth and throat was burning. After the cortisone-therapy the complete physical collapse came which the body needed to get back the lost energy. I was always tired, exhausted, had pain, deflection, depressions and an extreme croakiness. I got more drugs and took in the end: the infusions, the pain drug for the side effect of the needles, cortisone as infusion and tablets, tablets for the stomach, anti-depression-drugs, the highest dosage of sleeping-pills, tranquilisers. I lost control over my entire life.

Buchinger: What motivated you to try alternative methods?

I went to see a psychologist. The MS-attacks appeared every other months or so and I got worse and worse. I lost my friends and retrieved myself, became depressive and thought about suicide very often. Psychologically and sanitary I was completely at the end so my neurologist told me to have chemotherapy.
That changed something inside me. I did not want to do that. I realised that I would have to take over the complete responsibility for my life and my health. After 6 years I finally got moving and looked for information about the illness, looked in the internet for people who had found a way with MS. I found the page of Ivonne Radtke. Ivonne told me about her proceedings which she had made during her stays in the Buchinger Clinic. I trusted her and went to the clinic without knowing though, what exactly would expect me there.

Buchinger: How did you feel at the beginning with the therapy in the Buchinger Clinic?

Before I went to the clinic I had quite a bit of trouble and worries so I had another attack which brought me into the wheelchair for some time because my legs failed. After this attack which was the heaviest one I ever had, I got a new one with which I arrived in the Buchinger Clinic. I couldn´t use my right arm and fingers properly and had strong pains - another MS-symptom. I was worried and sad about how my state would influence the clinic-stay.

Buchinger: Were you surprised my the therapy?

After being checked up I got a plan. Everything was new and strange to me and I was confronted with things, that I had never heard of before. Fasting, enemas, clean-up of the intestine, taking oils. I was completely at the end at that point so I decided to do everything that was offered to me and to trust the doctors and therapies. I was open for it.
I did the complete Buchinger-programme. I received high dosage mineral and vitamin infusions, nutrition according to Dr. Kousmine with the cleaning enemas and oil-inputs. I also received myoreflextherapy, cariosacraletherapie, psychological sessions, shiatsu, physiotherapy and lots of peace and quiet. I also got to know and to love the wonderful nutrion at Buchinger. I was surprised to see how much is possible with vegetarian food. Every morning I took part of the zen-meditation and visited all lectures and events.

Buchinger: Which changes could you realise physically and psychologically?

Bit by bit I got stronger again and I trusted into the Buchinger-method more and more. I was able to shave myself and to cut my food again. I had also realised that I is very important for regaining health that I would tidy up my psyche, my mind too. It was clear to me that this would be the most important step in getting healthy. The psychologist helped me to go deep into my mind, my soul and my past. Coherences got clear to me and I was able to work up blocked-out and painful experiences.
That was not an easy job at all, but extremely important. Therapists and doctors work together closely in the clinic and therefor it is possible to receive a holistic and integrated treatment. I made good progress and felt how I became stronger and more confident. Because of the very well reported progress of the illness and my state when coming to Buchinger, therapists and doctors were able to see that the Buchinger-concept worked very well for me.

Buchinger: Was that the key for your recovery?

I was able to comprehend how important it is to take over responsibility for one´s life. Of course it takes quite a lot of readiness to let changes happen in one´s life and to make them happen. During my stay I met other MS-patients and could see how I was doing better and others were doing worse. These patients were not willing to use the whole programme in the clinic. One cannot expect that one stay in the clinic is guaranteeing health. If somebody is not willing to stop smoking, to change nutrition, to actively take part of the therapies and to comprehend deeply, he will not have lasting success.

Buchinger: You have even tried fasting. How did you do?

After doing the Buchinger-programme, talking to doctors and feeling the success in my body, I stopped taking the orthodox medicine, the infusion. Before I didn´t dare to and wanted to think about it. But the success spoke for itself and I wanted to start my new life without inherited waste.
So I had the possibility to try the legendary Buchinger-fasting myself. I had spoken to many guests and patients in the clinic and they all told me about the wonderful effects of it. I took care not to loose weight and I also got warned, that fasting might end in an MS-attack. I wanted a new start and the cleaning of the body was a symbol for it too.
The beginning was unfamiliar to me and I became moody. After the third day though I felt much better. But I also lost quickly weight. On the fifth day I felt like I could root out trees and save the world, but the doctors ended the fasting so that I would not loose even more weight. Nevertheless it was a big experience for me which I would not want to have missed. To really let go of things was a useful feeling.

Buchinger: How did you feel when you left the Buchinger clinic?

I had a recovered body, a strong mind, psyche, a very good and positive attitude towards life, I had grown physically, psychologically and spiritually. I was able and determined to integrate the learned into my life and to subtilise it. I left the clinic being thankful and happy with a lot of new insights, attitudes and possibilities. Meanwhile I was able to come here for a second time to stabilise these experiences.
I have learned to handle my body and my soul. I can realise the signals which body and soul are giving to me and integrate them in my daily life. If I don´t do so, the body take the symptoms of the MS as a help, to remind me of what ist really important for my life.

Buchinger: What is your life like today?

I read a lot and cannot imagine to loose precious time by watching TV anymore. I live without eating meat, drinking alcohol and smoking. At home I keep on with the Kousmine-programme consequently and I meditate every morning at least 20 minutes.
I have also learned that some people are overcharged with the many perceptions I have made at Buchinger. The development I went through, cannot be made just the same way by someone else. Everybody is taking his own way and everybody is responsible for himself. To realise this, is a long and in my case also painful way. The MS is not anymore just a heavy illness. This formulation is too negative. I see her as a companion. I came into my life to open up my eyes.
I think, everybody needs to think, if he really lives the kind of life he wants for himself. Illnesses probably are just a way the body uses to call attention that something´s not quite right. Maybe that sounds corny and withdrawn to some people. Critics and sceptics may smile about it. I can only say, that meanwhile I had no more attacks and I am happy to be able to go to the USA for a longer stay, which I could not imagine anymore before I came to Buchinger.

Buchinger: Mr. Backhauß, thank you for this interview.

Martin, Ivonne and the 2CV, Buchinger Klinik 2006

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